HOW TO BEAT HOMESICKNESS

Let me paint a little picture for you. Imagine an 11 year old Hailey. It’s early July, and 30 cheerleaders are running around while their parents and coaches are packing up a big star bus. We’re going to cheer camp. I board the bus reluctantly, while everyone around me is laughing and rustling with excitement. I watch my mom through the window as the bus pulls away, tears run down my cheeks. If you could’ve seen me, you would’ve thought I was leaving for war or something. I literally was going to be away from home for 4 days, but the thought of that was agonizing.

Fast-forward. That same girl hasn’t stopped traveling since high school graduation. How? One might ask. Well, over the years I’ve picked up a trick here and there.

But first let me preface with this, homesickness ain’t no joke peeps. But today I’m here to tell you IT’S OKAY TO BE HOMESICK and YOU CAN OVERCOME IT! So let’s get into this, my 10 tips for beating homesickness.

Baby steps

I think the best way to get over a fear is just to do it honestly. I know, I know… easier said than done. But let me explain. Every year, cheer camp got a little bit easier. As I got older, it wasn’t just cheer camp but competitions too. My parents wouldn’t go to every single one as I got older, and that was OK! These little trips slowly but surely made me more independent. 

Then it came time to pick a college, and I thought well, home is always there. So I went to the University of South Carolina which is about 11 hours from where I live. It was the perfect way to test the waters, as I knew I’d always go home for long holidays. Then junior year came around, and I thought okay let’s study abroad. I spent my fall semester in France, and it wasn’t all that different. I was just a bit further from home, and there was a time difference.

I graduated college and decided I wanted to go back to France. Okay, its just four months longer than last time. You see how all of these experiences kept building, one a little more than the next?

OK so obviously you haven’t lived my life and you can’t go back and change where you went to college or anything like that… but have you ever been anywhere alone? Before you up and leave the country, take a few baby steps. What about a day/night in your nearest city? Too big? Ok… go to the movies by yourself. Spend time getting comfortable being alone. Because let me tell you, that’s the main cause of homesickness. Master the basics. Baby steps!!!

Let yourself be a tourist

It’s OKAY to feel a bit uncomfortable at first. You are, in fact, a tourist. Give yourself time to get to know the area. Go to the museums and seek out new restaurants and take a trillion pictures and just do your thang. You’re allowed to be a newbie, and it’s completely normal to act and feel like one. Don’t ever be down on yourself about that!

Say yes

I hate when people say, “make friends!” WTF does that mean, “make friends!” Yeah let me walk down the street to the friend store real quick… NOT. Instead, I’m saying say yes. Chances are when you get to your new city whether it be for school or work or leisure, you’ll come in contact with some people here or there. And when they ask you to do things, they’re not just being polite. I had a hard time getting over this, OH they’re just asking me to dinner because they feel bad. Or oh, they don’t really want me to go to the mall with them. STOP. Yes they do, or they wouldn’t have asked. Say yes to whatever comes your way. You might be tired, it might make you feel uncomfortable, but you just gotta do it. Put yourself out there.

For example, my first day in the cafeteria I was sitting alone with my headphones in. Honestly, I was exhausted from the day and didn’t really feel like talking. I was cool with just me and my podcast. A girl approached me to come sit with her and her friends, and I did. Now I eat with them everyday. They’ve helped me with my french SO much, and I genuinely look forward to seeing them. She texts me if I don’t show up to ask where I am. It’s nice to be known, ya know? So just do it. Just say yes.

Stay busy

And I don’t mean with your computer and the cast of Friends. I mean ACTUALLY stay busy like with work or hobbies. The blog has done wonders for me, but I understand that’s not everyone’s cup of tea so let’s talk about some other things you could do:

-Join your town’s facebook pages to see if there’s any events going on

-Check your town’s website to see if there’s any clubs/associations that might interest you

-Take up art or drawing

-Rob a bank (kidding, just wanted to make sure you’re still with me here)

-Cooking, believe it or not finding and attempting to execute recipes can be time consuming…well at least if you we’re previously eating buttered noodles and PB&J sandwiches 

-Volunteer (ask locals or look online)

-Read a book

-Photography

-Start a blog, UNLESS it’ll become more popular than mine in which case don’t… or at least throw me a pity shout-out

The possibilities are endless! I would suggest picking up a few hobbies that force you to leave your house though. Fresh air and human contact does wonders.

Keep active

I’ve been guilty of doing the opposite, and let me tell you the results were miserable. Not only did I come back from study abroad looking like Violet Bearugard (post 3 course meal gum, minus the blue coloring), but I also just felt tired and sad. Second time around, I have FORCED myself to stay active, even when I don’t want to. 

My Apple Watch has really helped, as I have a weird obsession with closing my rings. But really, I’ve just made a commitment. I’ve committed to workout 15 minutes every day. You might be thinking, 15 minutes? What the heck will that do? In terms of before and after pictures? Probably nothing. But as far as mindset? Everything.

15 minutes is 3% of your day. THAT’S IT! And I’ll tell you 9 times out of 10 once I’ve been going for 15 minutes, I will always continue for at least another 15 minutes, 30 minutes, or even an hour. 

I workout in my extra room. I have a jump rope, two weights, and ankle weights. What I do really depends on the day. Sometimes I’ll pull up a Youtube video, other times I just play my music and see what happens. I also live next to a track, which was really nice when it was warmer out.

But if jump roping in a 4 by 4 room sounds like your personal hell, go find something that you do like. Join a gym. Seek out a yoga studio. Do what you gotta do and COMMIT. Staying active is vital to combating homesickness.

Give yourself 5 seconds to feel FOMO, then move on

When I studied abroad, the most FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out— for my mom who prob didn’t know what that stood for) I felt was during Halloween. I was scrolling through pictures and tapping through Snap stories like it was my job. But with each double tap I got more and more sad. I realized that you just have to put it down.

It’s okay to feel sad when you see all of your friends together, but don’t further your misery by following along like a puppy dog. Know when to put the phone down and walk away. If you don’t have the willpower then mute people’s instagrams and unfriend people on snap. You just don’t got time for that OKAYYYY?

Stay in touch, but not too in touch

I’ve got mixed feelings about this one. When I was studying abroad, I think I really needed to cut off the at home communication (but not to my mom lol we talk everyday— but my friends at school). I needed to have a separate life, and I couldn’t have the reminder that I was far from home all the time.

Now I think I’ve gotten a little better with this living abroad. I think it’s also because I’m in a different stage in my life. Most of my friends are scattered around at this point, so it’s not like I’m the only one not there you know?

So evaluate your life, and make adjustments accordingly. Maybe being in your roomie group chat isn’t good for you right now, and hopefully your friends will understand that!

Stop making comparisons and focus on the good things

Don’t compare apples to oranges. Stop comparing the grocery stores and the gyms and the classrooms or whatever your comparing. You have to realize, it’s two completely different places. Instead of focusing on what you don’t like about the country you’re in, focus on what you DO like.

For example, I don’t like how there’s no sushi restaurants in my town (it’s my favorite food), but I try not to think about it. But you know what I do love? Some french baguette and pastries!!! And I for sure can’t get the same ones at home. So I focus on that :)

Always have something to look forward to

Not so much that you’re always wishing time away, but it’s good to have something to plan and be excited about. Whether it be a weekend trip to Barcelona, a day trip to a lake near you, or even a small get together you’re throwing this Friday night, have something that you’re counting down to!

This one is always big for me, especially because I love planning trips. This way you’re not thinking about getting home, you’re thinking about your next destination instead!

Reflect

Get a journal and write in it everyday. I’m serious. I was gifted a day planner by a family friend before going abroad for this purpose. I write down everything I did, how I’m feeling, or really anything. This is good for two reasons. First, it’s so important to reflect on your feelings. Sometimes getting it down on a piece of paper is all you need to get it out of your head. I do recommend always trying to put something positive down on the page. One highlight of the day. But if you seriously can’t think of one, write “I’m alive.” Seriously.

And then not only that, now you have a day by day recollection that you can look back on for years to come! And who doesn’t love a trip down memory lane :)

All in all, homesickness is normal. Don’t beat yourself up about it, but don’t fall victim to it either. The last thing you want to do when looking back on your abroad experience is being regretful of not doing more because you were moping in your bed watching the next episode of Gossip Girl. Get up. Get out. You’re alive